Do you have a Will? You need a Will ready and on hand. Let me explain why.
I want to share a situation I came across when I had to spend so much time in the trauma unit waiting room in our local hospital. I was there for my daughter due to a car accident that occurred while she was along for a ride with friends to another friend’s to exchange Christmas gifts. She was admitted to the trauma unit on Christmas Eve.
The next evening, an early 30 something father was brought in for a head injury. He had received a skateboard for Christmas and had fallen and hit his head earlier in the day.
His wife was in the trauma waiting room with their three-month-old baby. They actually had three kids under the age of six that within a few days were fatherless. He had gone into a coma and never woke up.
The Importance of A Will and This Story
I’m telling you this story to share how quickly life can change. This young father left a family behind. And I can’t tell you if his family was OK or not because I don’t know their situation where a Will was concerned. I just thanked the Lord that it wasn’t both parents that were gone.
But I can tell you what it did to us. Between what happened to this man’s family and my own daughter, it hit my husband and I, like a ton of bricks, between the eyes. We needed a Will to get something in writing about what to do with our kids and estate.
We didn’t have much, but we did have a home with quite a bit of equity in it. And now we had a disabled daughter we needed to ensure would be taken care of if something happened to us. Because eventually it will. That’s just how life goes.
Other Reasons You Need a Will
*Because absolutely nothing automatically goes anywhere or to anyone if you don’t have a Will
*So Social Services doesn’t get to decide who takes care of your kids from here on out
*You get to decide who takes care of your kids
*So the courts don’t make all your decisions
*You decide who gets your property and assets
*Verbally making others aware of your wishes is not usually considered legally binding
*A Will written by yourself may not be legally binding in your state without a witness and/or an Affidavit stating that the signature on the Will is really yours.
Reasons Why People Think They Don’t Need A Will
People believe a lot of different things when it comes to reasons for not having a Will. I know it’s not a popular topic to think about let alone chat about it.
But in real life, not having a Will can cost those you left behind a lot of time, money and energy during a time of grief when they really won’t feel much like taking care of anything. Some typical reasons why people believe they don’t need a Will are:
*Think assets with pass automatically to children or next of kin.
*Don’t need a Will because you have verbally made everyone aware of your wishes’
*Think they don’t have enough of anything to worry about.
None of us really want to buckle down and make these decisions, but it will take the guesswork out of the situation for friends and family about your last wishes.
And think about it, you’ve made your wishes known verbally, but you know how a bunch of people sit and listen to something, but they all hear it differently or interpret what was said differently.
So, no one will be totally accurate in what they think you want.
What a Will Can Do For You
You can put just about anything in your Will, but for starters, most use it for appointing a guardian and/or trustee for their kids. Some people even appoint a back-up for both guardian and trustee.
Without a Will, the state could actually appoint a state guardian to look after your kids.
With a Will you get to say who you want to take care of everything after your passing, how you want things done and who gets what.
You can include anyone you want to get portions of your assets or gifts including charities and non-profits.
What Happens With and Without a Will
I’m not an attorney and not giving out legal advice, so I’m not going to hit on everything that has to do with a Will. You truly need to see an attorney that will know your specific state laws.
I’m simply sharing what has happened to my hubby and I and what we learned through our own ordeal. I’d rather no one learn the hard way like we did. Just realize how important a Will is.
Children
With: This situation becomes much easier on everyone involved when there is a Will. Especially so for your children, as the court should follow what the Will states.
Without: When no Will is available, it is left up to the court system to decide what will happen to the children left behind. And each state is different in how this is handled, so we each need to check with an attorney for our state.
What if you didn’t get along with your parents or in-laws and that’s who ended up taking care of your kids. Because this can be a typical result if your young children have survived you.
And if grandparents are not there, the courts will start looking to see who is next in line. What if it’s someone you’ve never met—would you really want your children to end up in this situation.
If there are other family members, it’s not unusual for a fight to start over who will get your children. Again, the court or social services will decide for you since you haven’t.
And do you really want someone who doesn’t know your children to be deciding what happens to them.
The court and social services don’t know the dynamics of you and your family and what type of relationships you have with everyone.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want someone I don’t really care for getting my children. (psssst, you know to keep your kids away from Uncle So n So, right)
Spouse
With: Your Will should be followed
Without: In most cases, your estate would automatically pass to your spouse. If there is no spouse, then the estate may possibly to go to the children.
Partner
With: Very simply, if you have a Will, your estate will go to who you have indicated.
Without: This is a touchy situation that you have left people in if you have no Will when you pass away. Especially if you’ve been living with a partner for say the last 10 years and that’s who you really want to leave assets to.
However, if your partner is not your official spouse, there is a very good chance the court won’t even recognize them as an heir for you and they get nothing.
So, if this is someone you want to make sure is taken care of after your death—get it written down! This includes cohabitation and common law marriages.
Debts
Usually, debts get transferred to the beneficiaries only if they are a co-signer on any of the debts.
Or if you live in a “community property” state this could also happen. Otherwise, the estate is usually responsible for paying out all debts.
And this will happen before anyone else gets any of the assets.
Estate
With: Your Will should be followed.
Without: If you pass without a Will and have no apparent heir, your complete estate may go to the state. And who really wants that? Many of us think anything we have will automatically go to our children, but this is not necessarily true.
Without a Will, it is totally up to the probate court to distribute your child’s(ren’s) inheritance as they choose.
When you pass away without a Will then the process of distributing all your assets and deciding where your children should go becomes a very long road for those left behind.
It can get very expensive and deplete an estate before anyone gets anything. It’s also possible that there will be family squabbles, unnecessary delays and people who didn’t know you that, will be making all the decisions for you.
Glossary:
Will: A written and witnessed document that tells everyone what your last wishes are, how to take care of your assets and who will take care of your children upon your death.
Trustee/Administrator/Executor: Someone who takes care of the final wishes you left in your will like paying your creditors and distribution of your assets, per your Will.
Trustor: Person who wrote the Will.
Probate: The process of proving your Will to the court so they recognize it as real.
Beneficiary: Organization or person who receives something through your Will.
Guardian/Custodian: Someone you name to take care of children left behind.
Intestate: If your last Will and Testament doesn’t meet your state requirements, then all your assets will be considered “intestate”.
It is then up to the state to divide all your assets where they see fit. These laws could be different in every state.
Testate: A valid Will is available upon someone’s death.
Per Stirpes: Without a Will in states that are per stirpes, all beneficiaries will inherit an equal share of the assets.
Per capita: In these states, only surviving children receive an inheritance when there is no Will.
How to Get Your Documents Together
The best way is to use an attorney or at the very least an online legal organization.
Reason why
*A handwritten Will may not be accepted in your state.
Final Thoughts On Why You Need A Will
No one wants to or likes thinking about planning for when they are gone. Ugh, we don’t want to think about it at all, let alone thinking about why you need a Will.
However, if we want our loved ones taken care of, we have to buckle down and get at least a Will completed.
There are other documents that you should also get made up at the same time as a Will, such as a Power of Attorney and a Medical Directive.
The POA will give authority to someone you appoint to make legal decisions for you if you become unable to.
The Medical Directive lets everyone know how you want to be taken care of near the end of your life or in a life and death situation. This is so no one else is having to make hard decisions for you, if you can’t. Decisions will be made according to this directive that you have had made up ahead of time, if needed.
Everyone, including medical personnel will know ahead of time what you want and who you appointed to make medical decisions for you.
As I said earlier, getting these three documents in order are generally not something we want to think about. But, let me tell you one last little story.
When my daughter was laying in the hospital trauma unit in a coma, we were stopped from taking pictures of her. Why?
Because she was over 18, and because of being in the coma, she could not give us permission to take the pictures. I can’t tell you how devastated we were.
That was just one time in our situation that we were stopped from doing something with or for our daughter because there wasn’t a POA or Medical Directive available with her wishes that we could provide to the hospital.
So even though these documents make you have to think about things you don’t really want to, it’s much easier on everyone if they are there when and if needed.
Trust me on this and get er done!
Cher
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