Love “The Book of Dad” (and gift ideas).  There is something special about dad’s with their kids.  And with Dad’s special day right around the corner we all need gift ideas.  I wanted to help with the gift ideas but also something kinda special for dads.  I’d been thinking about what to write that isn’t the same type of thing we’ll all be seeing in the coming weeks about fathers.  Since I wasn’t coming up with much on my own, I started going through a file of articles that I’ve read in the past.  If it was a really good article, with information I wanted to keep, that’s what I did–I kept it.

So, while looking through the file, I came across an article that I had read, printed out and kept from November, 2006 on MSN Lifestyle: Men.  I’ve no idea who wrote it, but it struck a cord.  And fourteen years later, it still seems to ring true, so I’m sharing.

This article can stand on its own, but of course, I have to add my two cents.  Because I think some of the points could be considered a little outdated,  I’m going to address that, if need be.  When this article was published back in 2006, it read as though from a father to his son.  In 2020, I truly feel that these items need to be addressed with both sons and daughters in mind.

With the exception of the how to dress points needing to be a little different for our daughters, the other points should apply to both sexes.  After all, most girls don’t wear ties, except my daughter, of course; but that’s a whole other post…

“As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.”

THE BOOK OF DAD
12 Smart Things Every Father Should Teach his Kids

Teach A Solid Handshake

Model proper technique by putting ‘er there:  press the web of flesh between your thumb and index finger into his so he feels it; that ensures proper placement.  Then wrap your hand around his and squeeze gently for two or three seconds.  Key point:  eye contact and a slight smile are essential.  The double pump, while conveying enthusiasm, isn’t.

My take:

Absolutely everyone needs to learn a good handshake, even women.  I can’t stand it when someone goes to shake my hand and they only grip 3 inches up my fingers.  If you are going to shake someone’s hand—then shake the whole hand, it’s not a finger shake.

I’ve gotten the finger shake from both men and women.  Show your confidence and lightly, but firmly, grip the other person’s hand and shake once or twice while looking up at their face and say something—your name, hey, how you doing, something that shows you will be in the conversation.

INSTILL A HEALTHY RESPECT FOR GUNS

Your kid might become vice president one day.  Demonstrate how to keep the muzzle pointed in a safe direction at all times—downrange, toward the ground or up in the air—while explaining that every gun should be considered a loaded gun.

My take: 

This is a hard one for me because I’m not a gun person.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t agree with this point.

LEARN LEFT FROM RIGHT (from The Book of Dad)

Righty tighty, lefty loosey.  That’s how to remember which way to turn a screwdriver, wrench—or the lid from a jar of pig’s knuckles.

My take:

Yep, sounds corny—but it still works.

WHAT TO DO WHEN STOPPED BY A COP

*KEEP your hands where police can see them.

*Never run, resist, complain or touch the officer.

*Address the police officer as “sir” (or ma’am)” or “officer”.  If he’s wearing three stripes or a single silver bar, saying “yes sergeant” or “no lieutenant,” respectively, may score some points.

My take:

Agree with every single point on this.  Many people feel disrespected way too fast these days, including police officers.

It’s best to do as you are told and then take care of your objections with the correct channels after things are back to normal.

Making a cop feel disrespected will get you absolutely no where while you are in a situation with officers, even if you feel you’ve been pulled over wrongly or feel like you are being disrespected by the cop.

No matter, because you will get the short end of the stick every… single… time.

Related:  Skills our Teens Need for Adulthood.

PROPER CONDOM USE

When you have your “talk” with your son (or daughter—she needs to know this stuff too), cover all these points about condom use (and when you’re done, present him with his very own box of rubbers).

*Check the expiration date.  Condoms are good for 5 years but those with spermicide expire after 3 years.

*Never store them in your wallet or car glove box (pressure and high temperatures will render them ineffective).

*Always use one, even with oral sex.

*Break out a new one with every encore performance.  Reusing one isn’t work the risks.

My take: 

Both sons and daughters need to know and pay attention to this information.

HOW TO CONSOLE SOMEONE

At some point or another while they’re growing up, your children will need to console a relative or a friend who’s just lost a family member.  To make the encounter less clumsy for your kids, help them prepare a message that comes from the heart.  (They should never say something like “I guess it’s for the best that she’s gone” when her friend’s sickly Grandma Bertha dies.)

In the case of a grieving classmate or friend, they should invite the other child over to play or hang out or to go to the movies with your family.  Even if the friend declines, the effort your kids made will not go unappreciated and will strengthen their relationship.

My take:

This is a biggie to learn and feels very awkward at first.  Make it easier for both of you when chatting about this and come up with what you would say in this situation.  When you know ahead of time what you would want to say, the whole situation is easier on everyone.  Figure out what to write in a card also.  And remember, most people are just glad for friends and family to be around if and when they need to talk.

THE RIGHT WAY TO DRESS (The Book of Dad, cont.)

While your son might be reluctant to hear it, give him this advice from Andy Gilchrist, author of The Encyclopedia of Men’s Clothes.

*Trousers are long enough if they have a light break in the front, and they should fully cover socks to avoid a “where’s-the-floor” look.

*Shirts should show a quarter-to half-inch reveal when wearing a suit or sport jacket.

*Ties should descent to the belt line.  A properly executed tie will show a dimple under the knot.

*Socks should be long enough to completely cover the shins when legs are crossed.

*Belts should match the color of shoes and end just past the first loop on your pants.

My take

I’d say these are still pretty good suggestions for the guys.  But the thing that comes to mind for me for dressing is what should be worn to a job interview.  Dress for the position you are interviewing for.  That means that shorts, t-shirt and flip flops will never be OK.  And forget about your cell phone while in the interview.  It should be turned off before you even enter the establishment.  If you don’t, my bet is, you won’t get the job.

CALCULATE A TIP

Encourage your kids to tip well for good service—in our book that’s at least 20 percent.  (If they think that’s too generous, lay this on them:  “Some day you might find yourself working at Friday’s”.

The simplest way for your kids to calculate a 20 percent tip is to multiply the pretax amount by 2 and move the decimal point over one position to the left.  For a $135 tab:  135 x 2 = $270.  Slide the decimal between the 7 and the 0, and you get a $27 tip.  Feeling generous?  Throw in a few more bucks.  Does the server merit only 10 percent?  Use the method above but instead multiply by 1.

My take:

Agreed

HOW TO DEFUSE AN ANGRY PERSON

The best way to handle an uncontrollably angry person is not to say “calm down” or “breath” –unless your aim is to fan the flames, says Rick Brinkman, Ph.D., who runs communication seminars for IBM and Boeing.  Let the person vent for a moment while you compose yourself.  Then calmly say, “I can see you’re upset.  I’ll listen to what you have to say, if you’re willing to listen to what I have to say.  Okay?”

Follow that up with a question that leads him out of the situation:  “What do you say we resolve it this way?”  By asking a question, you give him the illusion of being in control.  If this approach fails, walk away.

My take:

As good a plan as any.

MAKE YOUR TEEN A SAFE DRIVER

Have your kid log at least 100 hours of instruction at the wheel, says Phil Berardelli, author of Safe Young Drivers.  “The 6 hours most states mandate is inadequate,” he explains.  “Take time to expose him to rain, snow, night, fog, highways.”

Once he has his license, limit carpooling.  A study by Johns Hopkins University’s Center for Injury Research and Policy found that teen drivers with two passengers are 86 percent more likely to die in a crash than are teens driving alone.  Also restrict night driving.  The Connecticut Transportation Institute says drivers ages 16 to 20 are 66 percent more likely to have an accident at night than they are during the day.

My take:

This is a biggie for me.  Both of my kids have been in serious car accidents and been seriously hurt.  Trust me when I say, you really truly don’t want the phone call telling you one of your teens have been medevaced to the nearest trauma center.

To me the 100 hours of instruction is not a bad thing.  I know that every teenager would argue with this rule, but this is definitely a time where a parent should be a parent whether or not it makes your kid temporarily hate you.  And another rule I would make in this learning tip—NO CELL PHONES while driving.  Period.  End of sentence!

HELP YOUR KID GET INTO COLLEGE

To give your child the competitive edge, start planning in the ninth grade, says Michele Hernandez, an Ivy League – college consultant and author of A Is for Admission.  Here’s a quick guide to making the most of ninth grade.

*Freshman year is the time to perfect study skills and work on critical reading and vocabulary.  Your teen should try to read for at least an hour per day, including areas outside of her interests.

*It’s important for her to show teachers that she really cares about her classes by going above and beyond what the teachers ask for.  Now’s the time for her to become an active participant in class by contributing to discussions and showing initiative.

*Make sure she takes one or two SAT II tests before the end of the year if she is taking advanced science or math.  Most top colleges require three of these tests along with the SAT I, and you don’t want to save all until junior year.

*Beef up her academic resume.  Enroll her in college-level classes over the summer.

My take: 

Wow!  I’m an adult and just reading this I could feel the stress coming on at all these expectations.  I don’t want to say much here other than, there is more to life than an Ivy League anything.  I’m not knocking it if that’s what your teen wants, but not everyone can go to an Ivy League college.  Maybe community or a tech colleges would also work.  Our teens just need to do something that will enable them to make a salary they can actually live on.

See why I kept this article of “The Book of Dad”?  These are some big things for Dad to teach his kids (guys and girls).  But think about it.  Most of these points would only make a better adult for having learned them.  And after all, that’s what part of the job of being a parent is….teaching.

I’m interested to know what you think.  Send me a quick note to let me know your thoughts on what we need to teach our kids.

Stay Awesome!

Cher

Relevant Reading
Items To Keep In Your Car
Gifts Men Can’t Live Without
11 Trendy Gadgets

If you enjoyed my post, pin it and share it—it would be a wonderful compliment!!