Do you know what skills teens need to master before going out into the world?  You might be surprised.

There are many skills that parents teach their kids as they grow-up, but sometimes when I look around, I wonder if some of that teaching has been put on the back burner.

This subject actually came up the other day when chatting with some friends. Someone asked if anyone knew how to shake hands anymore when greeting someone in a professional environment and the conversation evolved from there.

Below are five different categories of skills that our teens need to learn and know before they enter our adult world.  As a parent, I felt it was part of my Mom duties to teach these things to my two kids so they could function as a reasonably responsible adult, once they are on their own.

Life Is hard enough at times and when you can’t feed yourself or do your own laundry–well, that just makes things harder. I think we do our kids a disservice when we do everything for them; they need to learn “how” and also “fail”, so let’s get er done…

Some of these categories are so basic, most of us teach these skills without realizing that is what we are doing.

DOMESTIC SKILLS

First Up–Cooking

And I don’t mean frozen and cooked in the microwave.  Before your kiddo leaves home, each one should be able to cook a complete meal.  To do that, they need to be able to identify different ingredients and measurements.  They should know how to follow recipes and use different kitchen appliances; including the dishwasher, if you have one. Other things to know would be how to store food and make a meal from items on hand rather than just from a recipe.

Laundry

Years ago, when I started college, there were several girls that needed clean clothes, but had no knowledge of how to do their own laundry.  I still remember how surprised I was because, I had learned years earlier how to wash, dry, fold and iron my clothes.  Those of us that knew this skill showed those that didn’t.

I started my kids doing their own laundry right before they left middle school.  They need to know how to run both the washer and dryer, how to use detergent (my son still uses way too much), what to use on stains, how to sort loads, what temperature of water to use, what to bleach, what not to and…..and clean out the lint trap.

This will bring you smiles as you won’t have to be the one doing someone’s jeans at 10:00 at night because they don’t have a clean pair—it couldn’t possibly be because they didn’t put their dirty clothes in the hamper before laundry day.

I haven’t done anyone’s laundry but my own now for a number of years and I don’t miss it one bit :)!! And guess what—you won’t either!!!!!!

IRONING

I don’t know about you, but as a general rule, I don’t buy something if it will need ironing. This may not be a regular thing at your house either, but eventually our kids will be interviewing for a job and they will have to have ironed their shirt, dress, etc.  They should know how to iron; no one can slay an interview while wrinkled.

SEWING

This doesn’t mean learning how to make a garment but knowing how to sew a button back on or hem your dress or jeans will come in handy more than once or twice. By hand and with a machine.

GROCERY SHOPPING

A needed skill only if one wants to eat 😊.  Teach your kids what are the basics needed, i.e. sugar, flour, mustard, ketchup, milk, bread and chocolate of course.  Help them make up a menu for a week and then plan what needs to be purchased.  This helps with their budget and makes it easier when it’s time to cook—another pesky skill!!

GENERAL HOUSEKEEPING

Everyone should know how to do the basics at keeping their home clean and making general repairs for maintenance.

Vacuum, dust, use of a broom and mop, thorough cleaning of bathrooms and what products to use to accomplish these things. Don’t forget about cutting grass, raking leaves and shoveling snow.

Basic home repair and maintenance should be included with general housekeeping.  Do you know how to unclog a drain, fix a broken circuit, unclog a toilet or turn the toilet off if its overflowing.  Show them where the water line is in case it needs turned off.  These things seem simple but are vital to know if something does happen like that toilet overflowing.  And it could help avoid costly bills if needing to have someone else do these things for them.

ETIQUETTE

Manners

This skill seems to be one that takes quite a while to teach before it catches on. Some of the most important words to teach anyone are “please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome”.  These three phrases can go a long way toward decent manners.

When visiting someone’s home, I was taught to take my shoes off when entering someone else’s home.  This is just one behavior to teach along with hats come off and if you have a bag, ask where you can put it so the bag is out of the way.

Wait for the host to offer food or drink and then eat in the designated area and when finished, bring your dishes to the kitchen. If appropriate, offer to help prepare the meal and definitely offer to help with clean up.

Always clean up after yourself. If you spend the night, make your bed and tidy up the room and the bathroom when finished.  Leaving a mess behind doesn’t induce a host to invite you back.

Explain and show how to be a host and a gracious party guest.  Explain about tipping when having dinner out.  An easy way to figure the tip is to multiply the receipt total by 20 for a 20% tip and for 15% tip, multiple the receipt total by 10% and then add half that to the 10% total tip amount.

Being On Time

Teach and show your teen to respect other people’s time and be on-time themselves.  It’s a big pet peeve of mine and a lot of employer’s too.  Don’t let them be late to school, church practice—to anything.

I know of a father who handled a situation with his daughter admirably.  She regularly missed the school bus in the mornings.  And it didn’t seem to bother her because she felt it was OK for one of her parents to have to take the time to drive her to school.  One day her Dad made her take the very long walk to school while he followed slowly in the car.   This was a simple and harmless lesson dad was teaching that day.  I suspect she never missed the bus again!!

Respect For Others

Share with your teen that absolutely everyone deserves respect—regardless of where they come from, the color of their skin, their intelligence, what size they are or what their views are.  Agree to disagree if you don’t see eye to eye with someone or go your own merry way.  Respect begets respect (usually).

BASIC CAR MAINTENANCE/NAVIGATION

I remember the first time I had to pump gas myself—I was nervous and the whole thing seemed strange (I will not admit to when this was).  So, yes you may have to show your son or daughter how to use the pump the first time around along with how to change a tire, check and refill the oil, add needed fluids and what an inspection is, when due and why.

They also need to know what paperwork that must be handy at all times—license, registration, insurance card and how to get and keep each of these.  It’s also a good idea to keep the car manual in the car and go over what info is found in it.

I know we all have GPS on our cell phones and in some cars these days, but it would also be a good idea to make sure your teen can read a regular paper map, figure out the schedules for buses, trains and flights.

FINANCES

Money is something different to all of us, but if you don’t want your teen or college student to nickel and dime you to death, start early teaching them how to handle their money.  Because if you don’t, they will continue thinking what is yours is also theirs.

Show them how to figure out a budget for a specific amount of money, say $50,000/yr.  Give them ballpark amounts to the area where you live for utilities, rent, car payment, insurances, food, savings and whatever else you or they think will be needed and see what kind of budget they come up with.  I guarantee it will be interesting.  This skill is a biggie and the better your teen is at figuring out and sticking to a budget will impact their whole life.

Show your kids how to count change by hand, Talk to them about credit cards—when to use them and when not to, show them how to use an ATM machine, write a check and balance their accounts.

GOOD START

Well there you have it–a good start on what our teens should know before they leave our homes.  Although I have to admit, I didn’t realize until I sat down to organize my thoughts on this blog and began writing, just how much we parents really teach our kids through their growing up years.

This is a lot that I’ve written about and I actually could go on with several more categories, but these skills are good basics.   I think what I’ve presented is a good start, so parents, have fun and enjoy the time spent with your kids while teaching them.

And remember they don’t really need to realize what you are doing, just include these teachings in your everyday life.  Ask them for help and they’ll learn while doing.  Families working together helps to create their homes.

Let’s Own Our Awesome!

Cher

Relevant Reading:

Legal Docs For Graduates
Advice for Graduates

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