POSITIVE THINKING—FOR THE NEW YEAR
We are on the verge of 2020, so instead of our usual new year’s resolution, let’s bring about some positive thinking for the new year. I know most of us usually give ourselves several different goals for the upcoming year. Chances are they are the same that we give ourselves every year, i.e. lose weight, change jobs, start exercising, eating better, etc. We’ve all done it and are most likely going to make these goals again. I’m going to suggest a different approach in the coming month.
During the month of January, I’m going to be posting articles about self-improvement. By that, I don’t mean changing what we look like or what we weigh. I mean changing how we think. How we feel about ourselves. How we portray or project those feelings about ourselves. My January posts are going to be geared toward changing our mindset about ourselves. How we think plays a very big roll, in how we end up feeling. And that, in turn has a lot to do with what we attract.
NEED A FOUNDATION
To begin to change that mindset, we need to have our minds set more on positivity rather than all the negativity that many of us feel comes our way all too often. To me this is the foundation for true self-improvement or growth.
Understanding the power your inner thoughts have over your whole being can make a big difference in one’s life. Once you have a positive outlook working all the time for you, you can start to attract different people, situations and certainly a different thinking pattern.
I have a friend that when one little thing goes wrong, she thinks the whole day is going to be that way. And she’ll voice those thoughts out loud. I’m always trying to remind her, “You get what you keep putting out there”.
Think about it; if the universe is only hearing your thoughts and voice saying or telling about the rain cloud hanging over your head, what do you think the universe will continue giving you. When the universe only hears you thinking or talking about negative things, it figures, you must like that so that’s what it keeps giving you.
Unknown
THE POWER OF POSITIVITY VS NEGATIVITY
Both negativity and positivity are contagious. I grew up in a negative household, so when I left home that was all I knew. Then, I got out into the world and began realizing, everyone doesn’t consider themselves a victim. I decided what kind of people I wanted to attract as friends, husband and co-workers. Something I learned was the more you think positively, the more positive thoughts come along.
WHICH FEELING DO YOU LIKE BEST?
Most of us have both negative and positive thoughts throughout our days, weeks and months. But which do you like feeling? Which do you think has the biggest impact on your life? How important is either of these feelings.
When my 19-year-old daughter was in a bad car accident and had spent 4 months in the hospital, it was suggested that we find a “long-term home” for her. She was basically bed-ridden and even though her eyes were open, “she” wasn’t really there. We all knew her recovery was going to take much longer.
After being given several options for places to visit, we ended up choosing a rehab hospital that was two hours away from our home. There was a very good reason for this, even though I was dead set against her being so far away. It had to do with the energy of the places we visited.
Positivity plays a part with our health
If you have ever visited a long-term care facility, you know that they can be very depressing and they are, basically, not made for young adults. My daughter needed so much healing that there was no way we were going to put her somewhere with that type of energy.
Luckily, we found a facility that was a children’s long-term rehab and as soon as we walked in the door, we could feel how different the energy was. Immediately, we knew that was where our daughter was going. We knew that a happy, energic place to heal is much better than the alternatives we had visited. Four months later, we were able to bring our daughter home.
The power of positivity had been cemented for us. We continued not allowing any negative energy near her, as we had seen the cost.
WAYS TO HELP CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
There are things that we all can do to turn our thoughts from negative to positive. It’s a matter of knowing this ahead of time and then recognizing when your thoughts turn toward the negative so you can turn it around. Changing your mindset takes time but is very doable. Try any of the following suggestions, settle on one to use or use all of them whenever needed.
BECOME AWARE OF YOUR THOUGHTS
Don’t just let your thoughts go to the negative. When you start going in that direction, you need to stop these thoughts in their tracks. It helps to pay attention to when your negative thoughts start or what causes them. For instance, if you step on the scales every morning and it affects you badly—stop! Don’t keep stepping on the scale if it’s going to put you in a bad, negative mood. Even if it’s for five minutes it’s too much and sets your day up in a direction you don’t want.
When you pay attention to when or what causes your negative thoughts, you will know what to avoid or what you need to change.
HAPPY PLACE
You need to figure out something that makes you happy when you think about it. This place(s) can be somewhere you’ve been or things you’ve done that make you feel happy, puts a smile on your face and puts you in a positive frame of mind when you think about it.
I call it my “happy place”. When you have this figured out ahead of time, you have this “place” ready when you need it. (I typically use this technique a lot when I’m in traffic)
STOP BEING A VICTIM
When someone grows up in a negative environment, they tend to look at themselves as a victim. Always blaming someone or something else for any bad and/or negative thing that comes into their lives. Others are always causing and responsible for, mishaps in their lives.
NEWSFLASH: You are the ONLY one who can improve what goes on in your life. ONLY you are responsible—no one else. NO ONE is a victim unless they make themselves one. Now I know you are thinking; “but so and so caused what happened to me” and you could be totally right. But YOU are the only one that can continue to play the victim, or you can pull your big girl panties up and change the way you look at what happens in your life. It is your reaction to things that happen that counts—not what actually happened.
ONLY you can decide how you are going to react to things that happen in your life. It’s up to you to see what good has come out of what may have happened to you. Only you can forgive and move past what has happened and move on, no longer “the victim.” Being a victim is bad energy and will not help you…..ever.
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS AND PRACTICE, PRACTICE AND PRACTICE
Change your thoughts immediately upon realizing you are thinking in a negative manner. This can be very tough if you’ve had a lifetime of negative thinking—but you need to persevere. At first, this is hard, but with practice, it will get easier. Don’t be tempted to give up—changing is never easy.
You will not get the hang of this right off the bat. Start with changing your negative thoughts a little at a time. Whatever you are thinking, change that thought to something less harsh and definite, i.e. “I never win anything’. Less harsh would be, ‘I occasionally do win things”.
This takes practice. Begin by changing your thoughts to something less harsh, or go to your happy place, or think about something you plan on doing that is fun or concentrate on your breathing or listen to the heater or AC run. You can’t think your negative thoughts while thinking of something else. You can’t. Eventually, you get the hang of it and can do this automatically, the second you realize the negativity has raised its head.
FORGIVENESS
This is a biggie. Many are able to forgive others, but not themselves. And that’s a biggie when trying to change your mindset to a more positive outlook towards your life. How can you be positive when you aren’t happy with or like yourself?
We’ve all made mistakes, done things we are ashamed of, etc. Not sincerely forgiving yourself is a waste of time and energy. You have better things to do than thinking of blaming yourself all the time. We are much more likely to forgive others but tend to be much harsher on ourselves. Forgive and move on. Not forgiving yourself is bad energy and will not help you.
In my opinion, Source (God) did not intend for us to feel so badly about ourselves. He made and loves us; why would he want you to not forgive yourself.
We may forgive others, but we need to forgive ourselves also. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness.
ALWAYS FIND THE GOOD IN WHAT HAS OR IS HAPPENING
We’ve all heard about the glass half full rather than half empty. Again, this is easier said than done. I’m still working on this one myself, but I’ll keep plugging away at it. (Traffic pulls me up short on this all the time)
GRATITUDE/JOURNALING
This is also something I’m not good at; I can’t seem to find the time to journal. But I’m suggesting you try it. Write about any part of your day you want but try to stick with good things that have happened. Recall and write down 3 or more of the good things that came your way during the day. You could also include why you are grateful.
Or write down your feelings for the day—good and bad but concentrate on the good. Eventually you will change your perspective on how you think of things and your mind will start noticing the positives going on around you.
Look for the joys that are happening around you and to you. Even if it’s just something as simple as getting off the phone with a cranky client without blowing your top. Or you had to use a public restroom and there was actually enough toilet paper!
MAKE A LIST (yes, another one)
Somewhere in your journal make a list of things that others have said you are good at or traits that you feel are good about yourself. When feeling negative about yourself, you can turn here to remind yourself differently. Learn to accept both good and bad in yourself—it’s called balance and that’s a good thing.
Learning to like yourself is not an ego thing or selfish, it’s about balance. Most think positive and negative thoughts about themselves, but we tend to dismiss the positives that we think about ourselves as not correct or not important. Instead, we dwell on the negative self-talk.
You will be surprised how much more confident you will feel and your attitude towards family, friends, etc. will also change for the better.
After some time has gone by and you look back, you will see in your journal that there are many more good things than negative. That’s a good sign that your mindset is changing. Looking back at your journal gives you proof.
MEDITATION/AFFIRMATIONS
You can also use things like meditation or affirmations. Meditating helps you learn how to quiet your mind. Affirmations are inspirational sayings that can help you stay positive. Find some good affirmations and plaster them in key spots where you can see them all the time, i.e. bathroom mirror, your phone, etc. I’ll talk more about both of these techniques, in more detail in later articles.
GIVE YOURSELF TIME
Don’t stew in your negative thoughts. It’s ok to feel them, but there is a difference between feeling those types of feelings and wallowing in them. Feel them and then move on. Don’t pull an Eeyore with the “whoa is me” thing we can all do.
Negativity is not something we can get rid of by next week. Give yourself time. Pick one or two items I’ve talked about and if they feel right, use them and work on them until you have your mindset on thinking in a mostly positive manner. It takes training, practice and time to re-train your brain to think positively rather than “whoa is me” Changing your thinking involves changing your subconscious and that’s what takes the time.
But think on the positive—which do you prefer—the days that you feel on top of the world and there’s no negativity that comes to mind. Or do you prefer the days you are dragging your butt and you can’t think a happy thought to save your life. Which makes you feel the best? Which do you prefer?
Remember, when it comes down to it, we are the only one that can change ourselves. Below are my suggestions, listed out. Take a pic, of the list, with your phone so you have it handy when you need to remind yourself. Make this coming year, your year for a more positive, happier YOU!
I’d love to hear if you have tried any of these techniques or plan to this coming year. Let me know how you did. I’m wishing you a happier, more positive new year!
Stay Awesome!
Cher
Relevant Posts:
What Is Personal Growth and Why Its Important?
How to Like Yourself
Want to Be Happier? Stop These Behaviors
Don’t Compare Yourself
