Learn And Practice How To Like Yourself * Spotlight My Health

LEARNING HOW TO LIKE YOURSELF

Have you ever stopped to wonder why in this time of “enlightenment” that so many of us don’t like ourselves. Especially if you are female. To many girls and women, it seems foreign to like themselves. Isn’t learning how to like yourself one of the biggest life lessons to learn. And if so, why do I know soooo many women that still don’t really like themselves.

Sometime when you are irritated about something that someone did, pay attention to if this irritation is from someone you know and like or love. Or was the irritation from an unknown person that you know nothing about, so feel like you can release the full impact of your irritation.

Many times, when someone is already on our last nerve and then they do something to further the irritation, it may send us into a tirade or at least that is how we may feel. This may be true even if they do the exact same thing as a person we love and therefore, don’t react the same way. So pay attention the next time you are irritated. Was it from an unknown person or someone you love and therefore, let off easier when they cause you to be irritated.

Now, take that thought process and think about yourself. If you don’t like yourself and make what you perceive to be a big mistake, you will probably punish yourself way too harshly. There may be no end to the awful things you tell yourself. Even a small transgression could feel like an epic failure. And then you basically begin to bully yourself.

DO YOU BULLY YOURSELF?

We say things in our self-talk that many of us would never say to another person. Why is that? You will have to put in the time and effort to change your self-messages, to learn to like yourself, and to be willing to start over every time you slip back into the old ways. The effort is well worth it.

Yes, I still occasionally wake up with the “I’m a failure” soundtrack playing in my head. Those words may always be with me. However, the good news is, now they don’t control me. I know how to silence the false statements quicker and to stop the barrage before it takes over. I can let the attack on myself go before it even starts.

Progress may feel slow, but you will get there. Choose one of the following suggestions or all of them to try, until you learn how to turn your negative self-thoughts away in a relative short amount of time.

WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY TELLING YOURSELF?

Take the time to notice what you are telling yourself. And I know you do the self-talk thing, because I do too. Although, I’ve have gotten past a lot of this and learned to like myself for the most part, I still catch myself doing the negative self-talk that so many of us engage in.

When you notice you are being a bully to yourself, just stop it. Truly, stop your thinking and change to another subject. Get busy at work again, get up and dust, go for a walk, listen to music or call a friend. Anything that puts your thoughts on something else, rather than yourself. You really can’t follow two trains of thought at the same time.

BALANCE IS KEY (how to like yourself)

We all have good and bad traits about ourselves. There’s no getting around that unless you are someone like Mother Teresa. Recognize what you perceive as your not so nice traits and your good ones too. Accept both and move on. It is a waste of energy dwelling on your bad points. You can decide to change them and become a better person but dwelling on the negative will never be a good thing and will get you no where. Instead concentrate on those traits that make you unique and authentically you.

And notice I said “perceive”. Remember, most of us are our own worst enemy and tend to think bad of ourselves when there is no need to. It’s not reality but just our own perception.

INTENTION

Each morning, set an intention that you are going to go out into the world and simply do your best. Nothing less. And nothing more. Our best is really all any of us can do. If you intend to do your absolute best each day and follow through, why would you put yourself down. Your best is your best, period!

Another intention to set each morning is to like you. Accept and be at peace with what you look like and silence those thoughts that tell you to think differently about yourself. Be at peace with what is. It doesn’t mean you can’t try to become more. It is just better to strive for better, from a point of acceptance for what is already.

Meditating for Beginners is a post about meditation which could help you with your intention to like yourself.

TAKE CARE OF YOU

We are all busy and many times we don’t make time to do anything that makes us happy. That needs to change. Doing things that you like to do helps you feel happy. And happy people tend to like themselves. Taking care of you isn’t selfish or egotistical either, as it actually helps you take better care of everyone else.

You may also want to give Reiki a try when you may be feeling especially out of sync.

ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE TO CHANGE AND LIKE YOURSELF

It really comes down to you. You have to want to change your mindset towards liking yourself and then set out to do just that. Here is an idea to try that is relatively easy but could definitely change your mind and thoughts about yourself. Take a piece of paper and put a line down the middle. Carry the piece of paper around with you and when you become aware that you are talking to yourself negatively; write it down.

On the left side of the line, write down what negative thing(s) you were just telling yourself about yourself. Try this for a week. Don’t look at the things you have already written down. Rather write the negatives down even if you have already written the same thing. At the end of the week, pull out that piece of paper and take a look.

How many times did you say the same derogatory remarks to yourself? Were you calling yourself names? Are you shocked at what you say to yourself? Now for the big questions…..

**WOULD YOU SAY ANY OF THESE THINGS TO ANOTHER PERSON? OR

**IF ANOTHER PERSON SAID THE SAME THINGS TO YOU, WOULD YOU LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT?

If your answer is “no” to either question, why are you saying these negative things to yourself. Why are you letting yourself speak to yourself this way if you wouldn’t let another do so? Because basically, when we speak to ourselves in this negative way, we are lying. We don’t let someone else treat us this badly because, in that moment, we know it isn’t true, it’s a lie.

So, when being hard on ourselves, we are essentially lying to ourselves and being a bully. And most of us don’t appreciate someone who skirts around the truth—why do it to yourself? These lies to yourself are basically fear. Fear of what?? Are you afraid of being your true and authentic self? There is no right or wrong to “self”. Remember the balance I mentioned earlier. Once you start liking yourself, you will find that your confidence actually increases. So, let’s make a plan for that to happen.

WHAT TO DO…. (how to like yourself)

For the next week on the right side of the same paper as earlier, write down something positive to counteract each negative thing you said to yourself. Also, pay attention when someone else says something to you that is positive about you. Don’t just blow it off, kindly say “thank you” and go write the good comment down on your paper. If you still can’t think of a positive for each negative, ask a few really good friends to tell you some positive things about you.

Write them down. After you have completed this, every time you find yourself cutting yourself down or being your own self-appointed bully, choose one of the positive things on the right side of your paper to keep repeating to yourself. For the next several days, when you start the negative self-talk, use one of the positive list items as your mantra to stop your self-induced negativity. Say it as many times as you need to. Until your thoughts have become busy with other thoughts that are no longer on your negative thoughts.

top of the mountain-how to like yourself

Remember that changing our way of thinking takes time, and how we think about ourselves is no exception. So, give yourself a break and just concentrate on practicing. I bet after a time when you look back, you’ll wonder why you ever thought so bad of yourself.

It’s kinda like standing at the bottom of a big, steep mountain. You look up the side of that huge mountain and think there is no way I can hike up this mountain. No way I can reach the top. And then, once at the top you stand, but this time look down the mountain and realize what you have truely accomplished. And raise your chin with pride…