By now, in any other year, we would have heard plenty of speeches for graduates. Several months ago, I came across a speech that is good advice for H.S. and college graduates.
“DON’T CHOOSE ANYTHING THAT WILL JEOPARDIZE YOUR SOUL”
LIFE IS NOT EASY! IT IS NOT! DON’T TRY TO MAKE IT THAT WAY. LIFE IS NOT FAIR…IT NEVER WAS…IT ISN’T NOW AND IT WON’T EVER BE.
Have you ever had someone say something that pulled you up short because the words being said hit you right between the eyes? The words were so profound that you thought about them for days afterwards and those words actually changed some of your thinking. That happened to me recently.
I came across a graduation speech on YouTube, given by someone I definitely did not expect to see doing this type of talk. Reaching for the exit button, something made me decide to continue listening. I ended up watching the whole video.
Having been surprised by who gave the speech—I was again taken by surprise after actually hearing the speech. For me it was powerful for anyone hearing it; adults and graduates alike.
TOP NOTCH ADVISE FROM MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
The person who gave this speech for a graduating class was none other than Matthew McConaughey. I was impressed with the subject he chose to talk about, as well as, how honestly, he said the words.
I continued to think about the words for several days after hearing, them as they had affected me as I heard them and still do. Enough that I decided to share my take on those words.
DO NOT FALL INTO THE TRAP, THE ENTITLEMENT TRAP OF FEELING LIKE YOU ARE A VICTIM. YOU ARE NOT. GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH IT.”
See complete speech at: YouTube
I’m sure most of us know someone whose life seems to be a mess all the time and never thinks it’s their own fault. Or someone who seems to think that everything and/or everybody should come to them or do things their way—just because its them.
While I did not expect the words that came out of Matthew’s mouth, I have to admit to being glad of what he was telling these new graduates; who I’m sure are anxious to get out into the adult world. How open their eyes will be in such a short time.
It made me wonder if too many of us, as parents, coddle our kids today. And while that may help the parent feel better and may even help their children feel better, does it really help. (helicopter parent). Going out into the adult world is an eye opener; I remember from when I did it.
H.S. to College–Change is Coming
I remember thinking that finally, I get to make the decisions for me, I can come and go as I please, do what I want, etc. I went off to a college that was a four-hour ride from home. So, I knew my parents wouldn’t just show up out of the blue—surprise!!
It really didn’t take long for me to realize that I needed to find a job along with hundreds of other students. All those extra activities some of my friends were doing cost money and I didn’t have it. Many times, I went off to work while they went out for pizza and beer.
Today, I sit and think, not everyone can win a trophy or make the cheerleading squad. When we make sure that our kids have things go their way all the time, what are we teaching them. The first time I tried out for my school’s cheerleading squad, I didn’t make it.
I was devastated and when I got home and my step-father asked me how things went, all I could do was start crying. He hugged me and told me everyone can’t win; maybe next time.
No coddling there—understanding yes, but no calling to the school to see why his daughter didn’t make the squad. I learned what disappointment was and eventually got over it. And realized it wasn’t the end of the world.
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Does always winning, while growing up, help our kids when they reach the time to take care of themselves. Their bosses won’t make sure everything runs smoothly for them. Their landlord won’t care if they spent their money on pizza and beer rather than saving for their rent. The first year out of high school is hard and then add to that all the life lessons you learn—it can be a stressful year.
This is why I was glad to hear what Matthew was telling the graduates. Life is life—no one owes you anything.
MORE GOOD ADVICE….
“LOOK, THE FIRST STEP THAT LEADS TO OUR IDENTITY IN LIFE IS USUALLY NOT ‘I KNOW WHO I AM”. THAT’S NOT THE FIRST STEP. THE FIRST STEP IS USUALLY ‘I KNOW WHO I AM NOT’. PROCESS OF ELIMINATION…DEFINING OURSELVES BY WHAT WE ARE NOT IS THE FIRST STEP THAT LEADS US TO REALLY KNOW WHO WE ARE.”
This is good advice for anyone. Deciding who you are not, could go a long way in helping make who you are or who you will become. Do I want to be someone who doesn’t really care about doing a good job whether I like the task assigned or not? I’m the parent, and things are going to go my way regardless of the rest of family.
Instead, if we know who we aren’t, it let’s us move toward the best person we can be. Choose better, because you really want to. And to quote Matthew, “AND WHEN WE DO THAT, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS? WE GET BETTER.”
“KNOWING WHO WE ARE, IS HARD. IT’S HARD. SO, GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK. ELIMINATE THE WHO YOU ARE NOT, FIRST AND YOU’RE GOING TO FIND YOURSELF WHERE YOU NEED TO BE. INSTEAD OF CREATING OUTCOMES THAT TAKE FROM US, LET’S CREATE MORE OUTCOMES THAT PAY US BACK. FILL US UP. KEEP YOUR FIRE LIT, TURN YOU ON FOR THE MOST AMOUNT OF TIME IN YOUR FUTURE.”
This is something we all wonder, at times. Who am I? What have I been put on this earth for? This truly takes some time and considerable thought to figure out for ourselves.
Many of us have things that happen, and it suddenly hits us between the eyes, what and who we are. Fate determined and realized in one decisive second. Something happens to us or a loved one and it changes things. Changes everything; how you look at things; how you think of things and how you feel about different things.
Big Moment of Change
In that split moment it comes to light that we are, or we are not, where we should or shouldn’t be. A moment when we have to decide that we like who we are and are doing what makes us happy; or not. If it hits us that we are not, then we need to start making changes. Changes that are good for our souls. Not others, but ourselves. So many of us don’t do that.
We need to be more true to ourselves, making our own soul happy. And if we don’t know what that is, then start by eliminating what we know we are not or don’t want. For instance, I knew from an early age that I could never be a nurse like so many others in my family.
My sister, on the other hand, always knew that is what she wanted to be, and she is today. She was a single mother of two and worked several jobs while putting herself through nursing school. It was a long hard road, but she eventually got what she wanted and never looked back. I’ve so admired her for that.
Do Your Soul Some Good
Doing what your soul wants and needs is important, but this is not always easy when others don’t understand. I’ve had to put my foot down and just walk away at times when someone questions why I’m doing what makes me happy instead of what they think I should be doing. I have decided to keep putting my foot down—it’s more fun for me! 😉
I see and know so many that do that—everything is for someone else and ignoring what they, themselves may want. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to be selfish and only care about yourself. But rather find a happy medium for whatever point in life you find yourself.
We Can Learn From Our Kids
Learn from your kids. They play when young, listen to music and chat with friends whenever the mood strikes and go out when they are young adults. And not once do you see one of them feeling guilty for doing what they want. Most times, even when they know they may get in trouble.
When doing something you like, it gives time for your inner being to be happy and that puts you in a much better place, not only for yourself, but for your family, co-workers, etc. It just makes your life better and you will feel better able to cope with what life throws at you. Nurturing yourself makes nurturing your family much easier. And that’s better for everyone.
“WE TRY OUR BEST, WE DON’T ALWAYS DO OUR BEST, OUR ARCHITECTURE IS A VERB AS WELL. AND SINCE WE ARE THE ARCHITECTS OF OUR OWN LIVES, LET’S STUDY THE HABITS, THE PRACTICES, THE ROUTINES THAT WE HAVE THAT LEAD TO AND FEED OUR SUCCESS, OUR JOY, OUR HONEST PAIN, OUR LAUGHTER OUR EARNED TEARS. LET’S DISSECT THAT AND GIVE THANKS FOR THOSE THINGS.”
“AND WHEN WE DO THAT, GUESS WHAT HAPPENS? WE GET BETTER AT THEM! AND WE HAVE MORE TO DISSECT (to separate). BE DISCERNING. CHOOSE IT BECAUSE YOU WANT IT. DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. WE’RE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES; YOU’VE GOT TO OWN THEM. THEN YOU’VE GOT TO MAKE AMENDS; AND THEN YOU’VE GOT TO MOVE ON.”
NO GUILT ALLOWED
In a nutshell and much less eloquent, we all make mistakes. But the bigger mistake that we may make is not owning up to that mistake or mistakes, make amends, forgive yourself and move on. Don’t waddle in what you were in your past. Learn from those mistakes and determine to be a better you.
Looking back and regretting does not move you forward. Never did and never will. It keeps you in the past. God forgives and wants us to forgive, and that includes ourselves. Why waddle in and keep thinking about your mistakes. Give yourself a break—MOVE ON!
GUILT AND REGRET KILLS MANY A MAN BEFORE THEIR TIME. SO, TURN THE PAGE, GET OFF THE RIDE, YOU ARE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK OF YOUR LIFE.
The Law of Attraction agrees with this. Simply said—You attract what you put out there. If you are always blaming others and don’t take your own responsibility for what happens in your life, you stagnate. Nothing changes, because doing this, you don’t correct yourself and change the energy you are putting out into the universe.
Think about it, you have an old grouch living next door to you who just grunts at you when you say hello. On the other side you have someone that always stops to say hello and ask how your day is going.
Who gets a better reaction out of you? The grouchy energy or the energy that is interested in you and brings your energy towards them and makes you feel better, just because you came across their energy vibration.
You become friends with one neighbor, but the other, you stay away from. Whose energy is better? They both get back the type of energy that they put out. That’s the law of attraction.
So, emanating the “guilt” energy that you put out into the universe, or the grumpiness or the blame toward others—what can you expect back. Wallow for a bit, if you need to, then get over it and yourself. The energy from any of these types of emotions does not do the universe any good and certainly doesn’t help you.
NOT GOOD ENOUGH REASON
“JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN?….NAH….ITS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO DO SOMETHING. EVEN WHEN IT MEANS HAVING MORE, BE DISCERNING, CHOOSE IT, BECAUSE YOU WANT IT, DO IT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.”
How true is this statement? I know I’m not the only one that does things that I don’t necessarily want to do. But, as far as doing something I don’t want to just to get ahead, nah, I agree with him Matthew on this statement. Gotta be true to yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
I’m going to close with one of my favorite things that Matthew said. It wasn’t included in this graduation speech but was something he had said at an awards show.
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“SOMEONE ONCE ASKED WHO MY HERO WAS, AND I SAID IT WAS ME IN 10 YEARS. SO I TURNED 25. 10 YEARS LATER THAT SAME PERSON COMES UP TO ME, ‘SO ARE YOU A HERO?’ AND I WAS LIKE, ‘NOT EVEN CLOSE!’ SHE SAID ‘WHY?’ ‘BECAUSE MY HERO IS ME AT 35.’ SO YOU SEE, EVERY DAY, EVERY WEEK, EVERY MONTH, EVERY YEAR OF MY LIFE, MY HERO IS ALWAYS 10 YEARS AWAY. I’M NEVER GONNA BE MY HERO. I’M NOT GONNA ATTAIN THAT. I KNOW I’M NOT. AND THAT’S FINE WITH ME. BECAUSE IT KEEPS ME WITH SOMEONE TO KEEP ON CHASING.”
Well said. I’ll leave the graduates with this….always, always be striving to be your hero.
Once again you hit it out of the park. Thank you
Thank you, Terry. I really appreciate that!!
Cher